Joy and Sorrow
In the winter of 1997, we were completely surprised by God! Six years after Johnmark was born, Jan is pregnant!! Its a girl!! Abigail (which means father's joy) was born in July of 1998. Instant joy! I used to say that she was either gabby Abby or crabby Abby. She was by far mostly gabby. She brought great joy to her older siblings. She was her older siblings cheering section. If you ever needed an encourager in your life Abby would be your girl!
Every child is unique and created by God to do specific jobs that only they are supposed to do. Abby is just in the midst of figuring it out. She already has achieved awesome things. She is great at sharing her faith, and she gets much joy out of doing it. I have told her that she would make a great youth minister some day. But, in reality she has already been doing it. She has continually invited friends from the neighborhood and school to church events. When she was younger, she got the neighborhood kids to play Mass with her. In High School, she was on the retreat team at school, and the peer ministry team at church. She was a middle school summer camp counselor for five years. This summer, she helped with camp as a Youth Ministry Intern. This past year, she was on a retreat team for the Diocese of Joliet where she helped lead retreats all over the area. She even helped lead a retreat for students from her former high school.
She is a magnet for people especially children. She will be an awesome mom some day. I think she is an excellent communicator. When she was younger, she used to make announcements to the family, so we designated a corner of the kitchen "the Announcement Corner". She would use it almost daily. She is a people person even as a little child she shook hands with everyone around us at church. For a short while, we moved to DeKalb. We were away from family and friends. There was not any children in the neighborhood, so Abby made up people to play with. In high school, she was "the waver." She would walk down the halls in between classes waving at everyone that she knew. She enjoyed playing softball for many years. I think that the best part for her was the fun of being part of a team.
Abby is "lazy". She inherited it from her grandmother and her mom. Now, no one would ever accuse my mother in-law nor my wife of being lazy. Far from it, but this "lazy" gift just causes them do every thing more efficiently. Or, come up with ideas to do a project in a way that expounds the least amount effort. It causes them to be more inventive. Like the person who invented the Lazy Susan. Abby has been a straight "A" student in college so far, and she has accomplished it with great efficiency. Another example, when she was a baby, we were trying to get her to crawl. We put a toy at one the end of the blanket to get her to crawl to it. Instead, she grabbed the blanket and pulled the toy to her.
We started a new youth ministry effort called Lifeteen. It was a Eucharist centered youth ministry. We started each Sunday night meeting with the 6 pm Mass. Over the years, I think it is the best youth ministry model. To start every Sunday with the Eucharist is ideal! The music and homilies were geared towards the spiritual lives of the teens and their families. But, there is nothing more central to youth ministry than bringing teens closer to Christ. I wished that I had learned about it earlier in my ministry. The Eucharist, which is Jesus, is and must be the central focus of all ministry effort. After all, it is the source and summit of our faith. I would like thank Msgr. Deutsch who was the parochial vicar at Holy Angels at the time. I could not have started it without his support. Unfortunately, he was made a pastor of a parish in Dixon a short time later. It was a great loss. Lifeteen had the big impact on teens and their families. I would have done it at St. Pius and Corpus Christi, but I needed priest support.
"The Church draws her life from the Eucharist. This truth does not simply express a daily experience of faith, but recapitulates the heart of the mystery of the Church. In a variety of ways she joyfully experiences the constant fulfilment of the promise: “Lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age” (Mt 28:20), but in the Holy Eucharist, through the changing of bread and wine into the body and blood of the Lord, she rejoices in this presence with unique intensity. Ever since Pentecost, when the Church, the People of the New Covenant, began her pilgrim journey towards her heavenly homeland, the Divine Sacrament has continued to mark the passing of her days, filling them with confident hope" St. John Paul
At about the same time, Holy Angels built a small Adoration Chapel and began offering weekly adoration times. It is hard to believe, but a Dominican sister, actually pulled me aside and said something along the lines of "What is it with this love affair with the Eucharist anyway." I couldn't believe what I was hearing coming out of the mouth of a Catholic sister! The Eucharist is Jesus! Of course, any Christian would be in love with the Eucharist! Over the years, I heard similar expressions to sister's come out of the mouths of Catholics serving the church in the Dioceses of Rockford and Joliet. We heard grumblings from youth ministers in the Joliet Diocese when we added Eucharist adoration to the Youth Leadership Conference! We had more support for keeping a dance. I applaud Paul Mach, who is the Director of Youth Ministry of the Diocese of Joliet, for adding adoration and eliminating the dance among other changes that made the conference one of the best in the nation.
The devil can tempt us. If you think of the seven deadly sins, you will struggle with one or more of them. The devil will use temptations of our greatest weakness. He will do it individually, and corporately: family, parish. Holy Angels Parish's weakness was the separation between church and school. Many school parents were looking for a private school experience and had little use of the parish as a whole. I believe that the devil attacked Holy Angels parish by going after the weakest link. Within a short period of time after the parish started Lifeteen and adoration, the parish became embroiled in a major scandal pitting the school parents against the pastor. The Dominican sisters, whose membership is shrinking, decided to no longer run the school. They are a dying order and needed to pull back. They wanted to focus their human resources on poorer parishes. Somehow, the school parents thought it was the pastors fault. They led a vicious campaign against the pastor. It was led by a state politician who ran a political campaign type of effort to drive the pastor out of the parish. Ultimately, they succeeded. The pastor, who is a good man, decided it was time to leave after the months long campaign destroyed his standing in the parish. They would stand on the sidewalks handing out weekly flyers with lies and half truths. Several times they included me. It was the ugliest time in all my years of church ministry. Many people that I greatly admire participated. It showed me the length that the devil will use people if we let him.
Teens struggle with many issues Identity is a big one. Who am I? They need a firm foundation. Most parents are not giving our teens a strong Catholic foundation. They are letting them float in the wind of modern Culture. I had one teen who had the carpet pulled out from under him. He found out that the father who he had grown up with his whole life was not his biological father. It shook him to his foundations. One Sunday, he left on his bike right after the Lifeteen mass. Later on after everyone went home, his mother came looking for him. I looked over her shoulder and I see a person walking a bike stumbling around. I pointed at him and said "I think that is him". Sure enough he is drunk as a skunk! Later that week, he ended up in the hospital with marijuana poisoning. Many teens try to self medicate away the pain. Divorce is another foundation crusher. It does life long damage to teens.
At Holy Angels Parish, we had a strong Christ Renews His Parish program. One of the fruits of a strong CRHP program is a group of converted laity ready to do various ministries in the parish. I had a group of fifteen on fire for God adults leading the Lifeteen programs and another group of adults leading the worship at Mass. We had an amazing ensemble leading music. The adult team led all meetings and retreats. It was a challenge for the first time adult leaders. We had some squirrelly teens. Teens can say inappropriate and obnoxious things. It can seem like you are not making progress. We had an impact but it may not have looked like it at the time. Many of those young people grew up to be faithful Christians. Since Mass was during the dinner hour, I had a standing order at the local Dominos Pizza Delivery. One night the pizza never came, so I called over there. They had been robbed! And, my pizza? Just kiddin. There is nothing better than a youth ministry effort led by faithful Catholic adults!
I was driving to the White Sox game with Steve Wilson one of my many volunteers. He happened to be the father of two teens Phil and Chris. He was also the husband of Jill my amazing RE Grade School Coordinator. He was a beloved principal of one of the local grade schools. His father had just died a couple months earlier from cancer. He was complaining about his stomach and what he thought was an ulcer. It was a great night at the ball park. It was fun hanging out with him and the boys. A few days later I received a call from his wife that he had been diagnosed with a fatal cancer. Within three months, he passed away. He died at the hospital during the Lifeteen Mass. My wife sensed that something happened. I was asked by the family to come to the hospital. It was a sacred time to be with the family that night. Several weeks later, Jill gave me one of his ties. It is one of my prized possessions. I have worn it many times in honor of him. Since that day, I have prayed for his soul. I will never forget him. Steve was to me the quintessential Catholic man: faithful husband, great father, devoted son, awesome servant and civic leader impacting his community.
Every child is unique and created by God to do specific jobs that only they are supposed to do. Abby is just in the midst of figuring it out. She already has achieved awesome things. She is great at sharing her faith, and she gets much joy out of doing it. I have told her that she would make a great youth minister some day. But, in reality she has already been doing it. She has continually invited friends from the neighborhood and school to church events. When she was younger, she got the neighborhood kids to play Mass with her. In High School, she was on the retreat team at school, and the peer ministry team at church. She was a middle school summer camp counselor for five years. This summer, she helped with camp as a Youth Ministry Intern. This past year, she was on a retreat team for the Diocese of Joliet where she helped lead retreats all over the area. She even helped lead a retreat for students from her former high school.
She is a magnet for people especially children. She will be an awesome mom some day. I think she is an excellent communicator. When she was younger, she used to make announcements to the family, so we designated a corner of the kitchen "the Announcement Corner". She would use it almost daily. She is a people person even as a little child she shook hands with everyone around us at church. For a short while, we moved to DeKalb. We were away from family and friends. There was not any children in the neighborhood, so Abby made up people to play with. In high school, she was "the waver." She would walk down the halls in between classes waving at everyone that she knew. She enjoyed playing softball for many years. I think that the best part for her was the fun of being part of a team.
Abby is "lazy". She inherited it from her grandmother and her mom. Now, no one would ever accuse my mother in-law nor my wife of being lazy. Far from it, but this "lazy" gift just causes them do every thing more efficiently. Or, come up with ideas to do a project in a way that expounds the least amount effort. It causes them to be more inventive. Like the person who invented the Lazy Susan. Abby has been a straight "A" student in college so far, and she has accomplished it with great efficiency. Another example, when she was a baby, we were trying to get her to crawl. We put a toy at one the end of the blanket to get her to crawl to it. Instead, she grabbed the blanket and pulled the toy to her.
We started a new youth ministry effort called Lifeteen. It was a Eucharist centered youth ministry. We started each Sunday night meeting with the 6 pm Mass. Over the years, I think it is the best youth ministry model. To start every Sunday with the Eucharist is ideal! The music and homilies were geared towards the spiritual lives of the teens and their families. But, there is nothing more central to youth ministry than bringing teens closer to Christ. I wished that I had learned about it earlier in my ministry. The Eucharist, which is Jesus, is and must be the central focus of all ministry effort. After all, it is the source and summit of our faith. I would like thank Msgr. Deutsch who was the parochial vicar at Holy Angels at the time. I could not have started it without his support. Unfortunately, he was made a pastor of a parish in Dixon a short time later. It was a great loss. Lifeteen had the big impact on teens and their families. I would have done it at St. Pius and Corpus Christi, but I needed priest support.
"The Church draws her life from the Eucharist. This truth does not simply express a daily experience of faith, but recapitulates the heart of the mystery of the Church. In a variety of ways she joyfully experiences the constant fulfilment of the promise: “Lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age” (Mt 28:20), but in the Holy Eucharist, through the changing of bread and wine into the body and blood of the Lord, she rejoices in this presence with unique intensity. Ever since Pentecost, when the Church, the People of the New Covenant, began her pilgrim journey towards her heavenly homeland, the Divine Sacrament has continued to mark the passing of her days, filling them with confident hope" St. John Paul
At about the same time, Holy Angels built a small Adoration Chapel and began offering weekly adoration times. It is hard to believe, but a Dominican sister, actually pulled me aside and said something along the lines of "What is it with this love affair with the Eucharist anyway." I couldn't believe what I was hearing coming out of the mouth of a Catholic sister! The Eucharist is Jesus! Of course, any Christian would be in love with the Eucharist! Over the years, I heard similar expressions to sister's come out of the mouths of Catholics serving the church in the Dioceses of Rockford and Joliet. We heard grumblings from youth ministers in the Joliet Diocese when we added Eucharist adoration to the Youth Leadership Conference! We had more support for keeping a dance. I applaud Paul Mach, who is the Director of Youth Ministry of the Diocese of Joliet, for adding adoration and eliminating the dance among other changes that made the conference one of the best in the nation.
The devil can tempt us. If you think of the seven deadly sins, you will struggle with one or more of them. The devil will use temptations of our greatest weakness. He will do it individually, and corporately: family, parish. Holy Angels Parish's weakness was the separation between church and school. Many school parents were looking for a private school experience and had little use of the parish as a whole. I believe that the devil attacked Holy Angels parish by going after the weakest link. Within a short period of time after the parish started Lifeteen and adoration, the parish became embroiled in a major scandal pitting the school parents against the pastor. The Dominican sisters, whose membership is shrinking, decided to no longer run the school. They are a dying order and needed to pull back. They wanted to focus their human resources on poorer parishes. Somehow, the school parents thought it was the pastors fault. They led a vicious campaign against the pastor. It was led by a state politician who ran a political campaign type of effort to drive the pastor out of the parish. Ultimately, they succeeded. The pastor, who is a good man, decided it was time to leave after the months long campaign destroyed his standing in the parish. They would stand on the sidewalks handing out weekly flyers with lies and half truths. Several times they included me. It was the ugliest time in all my years of church ministry. Many people that I greatly admire participated. It showed me the length that the devil will use people if we let him.
Teens struggle with many issues Identity is a big one. Who am I? They need a firm foundation. Most parents are not giving our teens a strong Catholic foundation. They are letting them float in the wind of modern Culture. I had one teen who had the carpet pulled out from under him. He found out that the father who he had grown up with his whole life was not his biological father. It shook him to his foundations. One Sunday, he left on his bike right after the Lifeteen mass. Later on after everyone went home, his mother came looking for him. I looked over her shoulder and I see a person walking a bike stumbling around. I pointed at him and said "I think that is him". Sure enough he is drunk as a skunk! Later that week, he ended up in the hospital with marijuana poisoning. Many teens try to self medicate away the pain. Divorce is another foundation crusher. It does life long damage to teens.
At Holy Angels Parish, we had a strong Christ Renews His Parish program. One of the fruits of a strong CRHP program is a group of converted laity ready to do various ministries in the parish. I had a group of fifteen on fire for God adults leading the Lifeteen programs and another group of adults leading the worship at Mass. We had an amazing ensemble leading music. The adult team led all meetings and retreats. It was a challenge for the first time adult leaders. We had some squirrelly teens. Teens can say inappropriate and obnoxious things. It can seem like you are not making progress. We had an impact but it may not have looked like it at the time. Many of those young people grew up to be faithful Christians. Since Mass was during the dinner hour, I had a standing order at the local Dominos Pizza Delivery. One night the pizza never came, so I called over there. They had been robbed! And, my pizza? Just kiddin. There is nothing better than a youth ministry effort led by faithful Catholic adults!
I was driving to the White Sox game with Steve Wilson one of my many volunteers. He happened to be the father of two teens Phil and Chris. He was also the husband of Jill my amazing RE Grade School Coordinator. He was a beloved principal of one of the local grade schools. His father had just died a couple months earlier from cancer. He was complaining about his stomach and what he thought was an ulcer. It was a great night at the ball park. It was fun hanging out with him and the boys. A few days later I received a call from his wife that he had been diagnosed with a fatal cancer. Within three months, he passed away. He died at the hospital during the Lifeteen Mass. My wife sensed that something happened. I was asked by the family to come to the hospital. It was a sacred time to be with the family that night. Several weeks later, Jill gave me one of his ties. It is one of my prized possessions. I have worn it many times in honor of him. Since that day, I have prayed for his soul. I will never forget him. Steve was to me the quintessential Catholic man: faithful husband, great father, devoted son, awesome servant and civic leader impacting his community.
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